Sunday, April 24, 2011

Don't wanna, Shouldn't have......

His phone rang... he looked at the screen and looked up at me apologetically and I knew it was HER. I nodded and he smiled and pressed the green button and walked to the other side of the room. I didnt hear most of the conversation, just some muffled words that I couldn't make anything out of. I busied myself checking dp's on my phone. I felt him sit beside me on the bed and I looked up. "I gotta go babe, we kinda had something planned for tonight" He looked apologetic, even if I wanted to protest, the look on his face was enough to stop me.
"Of course, I understand... you should go" the words hurt to say... I sighed

He bent his head towards me and despite my sadness, I couldn't bring myself to pull away. Instead, I moved closer to him and when our lips finally met, I knew why I was taking all the BS I was taking. This was good, he tasted always. He ended it and stood up. I walked with him to the door, he opened it, stepped out and looked at down at me, with a smile on his face. I managed a smile, he def knew I wasn't happy about this. He bent to kiss me again, this time quick and hard... "Goodbye Lara"
"Goodbye Kunmi"

I went to my window and saw him walk out of the hostel building, he got into his car and drove off. I noticed there was a big smile on his face as he drove off. Damn! It hurt to know he was taking that wonderful smile to another woman. No doubt, they had a wonderful date planned out at a nice place, probably some exotic restaurant or even just something a little fun, even the cinemas. At least, she had that, she could go out with him and hold hands and kiss him in public without fear but I couldn't. This was all I could ever have of him, these miserable 2 or 3 hours twice a week that we had to spend indoors. Oh, I would have done anything to be able to tell someone about us.....but I couldn't.

I caught myself there, what the hell was I doing complaining?? It was my fault, I had known exactly what I was doing when I got involved with a guy that was already committed to another girl. I felt like a complete idiot. I was always against these kinda things, dating people that aren't single and here I was doing the exact same thing.

2 months ago, Kunmi and I had been just friends, in fact, we weren't even close. We rolled with the same group of people so that was kinda how we started talking. I never, not even once thought I'd be doing under-G with him, ever. Besides, he had a babe and everybody, no the whole school, knew that they were nuts for each other. Plus I am totally against dating other people's boyfriends (at least, I was).

Anyway, one day, we all went out, we just wanted a break from school and we decided to go out and chill, so we planned to go to a couple of places. The girlfriend couldn't come 'cause she had gone home for the weekend. The beach was the first stop and we had loads of fun and I also found myself flirting with Kunmi! I was shocked mehn! It struck me like BAM!! i sha put it down to over-happiness and figured flirting wasn't a bad thing. However, I noticed a lot of things about him, noticed that he actually was cute, that I liked talking to him, and I loved when he smiled at me! x_x.

And then we kept having those BAM moments, with the eye contact and smiles and all... what was wrong with me, I just couldn't figure out. Like rily, I was beginning to get really mad at myself. As we were leaving, Kunmi happened to be walking beside me (I dont know how that happened *innocent face*) and we were at the back of the group and he looked down at me and smiled... and he said "you have an amazing smile" and I turned red...and I looked away.. and next I knew, he stopped to face me and he bent his head and he kissed me! It was soo brief, I was nearly sure I just imagined, I was RED! I couldnt even look up at him, I just hurried on to join the rest of the group who were by far ahead of us. I was still trying to decide if I had just imagined the kiss when he walked past me and winked at me! Damn! It was real...and I was in trouble!!

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